Dragon QR Code!
Rejection again, Kids' Holiday Club, Short Stories and T-Rex Soundbite!
Hello everybody and welcome to another newsletter.
I have discovered one of those things that pops up on your phone and it is a QR image generator. I gave it a go and I really like it. I have created one and I use it to direct people to my substack. The free version has a 5-second countdown before a person can scan it. Feel free to copy and share the QR code (or ‘Scan Square’ as the kids call it) with anyone you think might like to come to my substack. Quite frankly I like it better than Substack’s rather mundane ‘share’ button.
Rejection - again. But it’s okay…
On to more exciting news. I have finally received my rejection letter from the last of the agents, the Darley Anderson Children’s Book Agency. Here it is below.
“Dear Simon,
Thank you for giving the Darley Anderson Children’s Book Agency a chance to consider your work.
Unfortunately, after careful consideration, I had to concede that this is not right for my list at the current time. I’m so sorry I don’t have better news for you. As an agency, we feel that it is immensely important for writers and illustrators to have an agent who believes completely in the potential of their work to sell and who can therefore take that enthusiasm to the publishers. Accordingly, we need to feel really passionate about a client’s work before we sign them onto the agency.
We receive over 300 submissions a week and can only take on a handful of new writers and illustrators every year. The result is that we have to be incredibly selective, so please do not be too disheartened. Another agent may well feel differently.
We wish you the very best of luck in the future.
Best wishes,
Chloe
Chloe Davis
Associate Agent
Darley Anderson and Associates Ltd”
I will now concentrate on having a go at self-publishing on Amazon KDP. I know people may say that I should be approaching a lot more agents but for me, this is just an experiment. I have other works aimed at a younger audience that require an illustrator and I’ll be submitting these to agents in due course.
Kids’ Holiday Club
Last week it was the February half-term school holiday in the UK and my partner and I were busy running our kids' holiday club. We average 80 primary school-age children a day. I truly enjoy spending time with the kids and learning all about their lives. But, the best has to be some of the things they say and do. Here are a few of my favourites during the week.
6 year old: “How old are you?” Me: “60” 6 yo: “What, like a 6 and an 0?” Me: “Yep, a 6 and a 0.” 6yo: “You’re as old as my granddad, he’s 85.” Me: “Thanks.” 6yo: “You’re welcome. It’s a compliment.” Me: “Mmm…”
Me: (showing a picture of my dogs to a 5-year-old) 5yo: “So cute! We’re not allowed to have a dog. I want one but mummy says she’s allergic. She’s stupid.”
6yo: (shows me a tooth that has just fallen out) “Here, take it and look after it. I need to take it home later for the Tooth Fairy.” Me: (resisting the urge to ask him what his last servant died of) “Do you get money from the Tooth Fairy?” 6yo nods: “Yes, £10.” Me: (incredulous) “£10!? In my day we were lucky if we got 5p.” 6yo. “What’s 5p?”. She has never seen small change before. I am then informed by a French child that in France they don’t have a Tooth Fairy, they have a tooth mouse. I quickly check on Google. Yes, it’s true, they actually have a Tooth Mouse called 'La Bonne Petit Souris' I carefully wrap the tooth in a tissue. “Go and put this in your bag to take home.” 6yo: Gently takes the wrapped tooth and carefully transports it like it’s an unexploded bomb across the sports hall to his bag. Halfway across the hall, the whistle for break time goes. He energetically chucks the wrapped tooth in the general direction of his bag and runs outside to play.
5yo boy: “I think I have pooped.” Me: “Ok. You think, or you know?” 5yo.(smacks his bum with his hand) “I know.” Me: “Great, thanks” 5yo: “You’re welcome.”
Me: Discussing food with a group of kids, asking them what they think their favourite food is. I tell them that mine is probably Spaghetti Bolognaise with lots of Parmesan. 5yo: “What is Parmesan?” Me: “It’s a cheese you put in your Spag Bol.” A 7yo chimes in and explains to the 5yo: “You know, stinky cheese sprinkles.” Me: “Yes. Exactly that. Stinky cheese sprinkles.”
Me: (sitting on a chair watching kids play on a wooden climbing frame) 5yo comes and stands next to me. Stares intently at my face. ”You’ve got a lot of wringles.” Me: “I think you mean wrinkles.” 5yo: (touches a wrinkle) “No, wringles. I know my words.” Me: “Ok, we’ll call it ‘wringles’. 5yo: “Good.” He then sticks his finger in my ear. “You’ve got a lot of hair in your ear. Did you know?” Me: (shocked) “No way! Hair in my ears?!” 5yo: (laughs) “You should get it cut, maybe you can’t hear.” Me: (playing along) “Pardon?” 5yo: (laughs hysterically) “See!”
Me: (talking to a group of 9 and 10yo girls) Them: “Are you married?” Me: “No. I’m too busy.” 10yo points at her friend: “J is a single pringle.” J: “Yeah, boys in my school are dumb.” J looks at the other 3 girls. “We’re all single pringles. We’re almost a whole tube of single pringles!” They all fist-bump
The last one is my favourite because I never thought it would happen. Last year I saw a meme that said ‘When I was a kid, I thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it is’. Me: On the playing field next to the long-jump pit full of waterlogged sand because it’s been raining. 6yo boy: “Be careful. It might be quicksand.” Me: “I don’t think it is. Children actually jump in it.” 6yo: (warily walks to the edge) “Really? They don’t sink and disappear?” Me: “No, look.” I walk across the sandpit. 6yo: (obviously knowledgeable about quicksand) “Oh, there’s probably not enough water. Maybe we should get some more.” Me: (being an adult) “I don’t think the sand is very deep here. You’d need a lot of sand and water.” 6yo: (in a very matter-of-fact voice) “A Brontosaurus would probably survive because it has a long neck.” Me: (sighing) “Yep, I think you’re right. Do you want to try walking on the sand?” 6yo: (hesitates, then decides) “Not yet, maybe next week.” Me: “Wise choice. Shall we go in and get a biscuit?”
Short Stories
As short stories go, I find them difficult to write. The main reason being, what constitutes a ‘short story’? According to ChatGPT, it’s something between 1000 and 20,000 words. Most of my ‘short’ stories are over 20,000 words, almost novellas. Next week, if I manage to wrap up the editing of one of my short stories I’ll post it here for free. It’s called ‘Djinn’. It’s the shortest of my short stories and is based around a conversation I had with a teenager 11 years ago when I was working in the NHS. This young man was finding it difficult to motivate himself to get up in the morning, to go to school, and even to get up and eat because his whole life-outlook was “What’s the point? The world is in a mess, everyone is killing everyone else, people hate each other, what is the point in doing anything?” He felt completely overwhelmed by the futility of being a single human being who would make almost no impact in the world.
Anyway, the good news is that 11 years later he is a happy and healthy young man who has a job and a partner.
T-Rex Soundbite!
One last thing - I don’t know if you like dinosaurs as much as I do but, I really like dinosaurs, so I was thrilled to come across this YouTube documentary about what a T-Rex may actually have sounded like. Apparently, not as you might hear when watching Jurassic Park. Even more frightening than that. The full documentary is here:
but the sound it might have made starts at about 5.15 Best enjoyed with headphones on.
Until next week my friends, go out there and make a difference.
Simon